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One stitch, one step, one life at a time: Samuel’s transformation through EMAP
In the dusty, determined town of Kitengela, amidst the chaos of bustling markets and the rhythm of resilience, sits Samuel Mimano Kagiri, a cobbler by day, water vendor by night, and now, a man on a mission to rewrite his story.
If you had met Samuel a year ago, you would have seen a different man. A husband to Njeri and a father to a 4-year-old daughter, Samuel lived by the age-old mantra: 'A man is the head of the house, and his word is final.' Listening to his wife? Not a priority. Helping with chores? Unthinkable. But that was before Engaging Men in Accountable Practice (EMAP).
Samuel first heard about EMAP through a church pastor, who kept nudging him to give it a try. His first session? Confusing. He wasn’t sure what to make of it and even missed the next two classes. But it was his friends, already attending the program, who finally convinced him to come back and give it a real shot. That decision changed everything.
“I kept wondering, why are they insisting so much? What’s so special about these classes?” he laughs. “But when I finally decided to stay, I never missed another session.”
One of the most challenging topics for Samuel was understanding Power and rights, how men use (or misuse) it at home.
“I realized that as men, we have been misusing power for years. We don’t listen to our wives. We assume that because we are the head, our word is final. Before EMAP, I never really gave my wife a chance to speak. Now, I listen. And guess what? She's been shocking me with things she never dared to tell me before!”
This newfound respect and open communication has since brought peace to his home. “My wife reminds me when it's class day. She wakes me up early, makes sure I’m ready, and even opens our shop to let me attend. That’s how much she values the change she sees in me.”
Another eye-opener was gender equality. Samuel grew up in a household where his father was the ultimate decision-maker. Helping in the house? Not for men. “But in class, I learned that even women get tired. So now, when I get home, I help my wife with chores. Sometimes, she just looks at me in shock, like, 'Who is this new man?’” he says, chuckling.
This small act of partnership has not only strengthened his marriage but has also become a talking point in the community. “People ask me, 'Eh, Samuel, why are you helping with house chores? Have you been bewitched?' and I just tell them, no, I’ve been educated!”
The impact of EMAP didn’t stop at home. Samuel is quickly becoming the go-to person for advice in his community. “Imagine me, a cobbler, now advising older men about family issues! But that’s what this knowledge does. It gives you confidence, and people see the change in you.”
Before EMAP, he often saw broken families firsthand while pulling his water cart at night. “I would see a man throwing his wife out, or a woman crying in the streets, and I didn’t know how to help. Now, I know what to say. If only I had learned this earlier, maybe I could have saved a few families from breaking apart.”
Balancing work and classes have not been easy, but he is glad. “Sometimes a customer would come while I was in class, but I had to choose, do I fix a shoe now or fix my life and that of my family for the long run? Thankfully, the classes were in the morning, so I made it work.”
And now, Samuel’s dreams are bigger than ever. “I want to be a professional counselor. I see so many young men lost in alcohol and drugs, abandoning their families. If I can help even one-man change, then I’ll have done something great.”
He envisions opening a small safe space, starting with just a chair and a listening ear. “They say 'Ukipata kipawa, usikifiche' (If you have a gift, don’t hide it). I now know I have a gift for this, and I will use it!”
Samuel has one request: “I hope this EMAP program doesn’t end with us. Too many young men need this education. To DRC, to our teacher Steve, to the donors who made this possible, thank you. You have changed my life, my family, and my future.”
And to the critics? “Life is a learning experience. If knowledge makes you a better person, grab it!”
